Spurred on by Magdalene, I will now give you my recipe for chip pie together with my general philosophy on how to have a healthy husband.
First of all you go to Netto and buy a packet of pastry which you proceed to roll out.
Then it's a quick nip out to the Strawberry Pig to buy some chips.
Come back home and place the chips within the pastry. Turn it into a pasty shape and crimp up prettily. Cook.
While this is cooking, put some cabbage on to boil. Make sure this is boiled for at least one hour. It needs to be very soft and tender.
Look in the cupboard for a tin of spam. Open and cut up artistically.
Arrange pie, cabbage and spam on plate. Cover with sauce.
Serve sitting in front of the television, preferably while Eastenders is on. Supply at least ten cans of lager. No Glass. Straight from the tin.
Make sure there is plenty of nice sliced white bread to mop up the sauce and any fat that oozed out of the chips and pastry.
For pudding serve a doughnut.
And to round the evening off nicely, a few fags.
I'm a great believer in healthy living, so as soon as the meal is eaten, the lager drunk and the fags smoked, a good hard game of Squash is advised. Follow my regime and you too can have a healthy husband.