Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Eggs, Chickens, Creation, Evolution

I think I have found the perfect answer for Halfmom and Maalie. I am reading a wonderful book by Alice Thomas Ellis, one of my favourite authors. This one is called 'The 27th Kingdom'. I now quote from it:

'I was trying to think of excuses for the sea' said Aunt Irene.

'I don't think it needs any' said Kyril. 'It's much older than us. We all came out of it - funny little see-through things with monocular vision and whiskers'.

'It's a theory' explained Aunt Irene. 'Some people seem to imagine we all crawled out of the ocean some time ago as teeny little maritime bugs and then evolved into us'.

'I thought it was monkeys' said Victor.

'It was probably monkeys next' said Aunt Irene. 'After the reptiles and so on. The little squishy things turned into fish, the fish into reptiles, the reptiles into birds, the birds into ...'

'Monkeys' said Victor derisively. 'I suppose that's why they hang about in trees'.

Aunt Irene really inclined to that simplest of all views: the one expressed so cogently in the book of Genesis, which explained everything with appealing clarity. This was the only view that explained, for instance, mayonnaise. It was patently absurd to suppose that mayonnaise had come about through random chance, that anyone could ever have been silly or brilliant enough to predict what would happen if he slowly trickled oil on to egg yolks and then gone ahead and tried it.

An angel must have divulged that recipe and then explained what to do with the left-over whites. Meringues - there was another instance of the exercise of superhuman intelligence.

As the angel had left in his fiery chariot he must have added, 'And don't forget omelettes, and cake and custard and souffles and poaching and frying and boiling and baking. Oh, and they're frightfully good with anchovies. And you can use the shells to clarify soup - and don't forget to dig them in round the roots of your roses', the angelic tones fading into the ethereal distance.

It was obvious therefore that the egg had come first. There was something dignified about a silent passive egg, whereas Aunt Irene found it difficult to envisage an angel bearing a hen. The concatenation of chickens' wings and angels wings would have had about it an element of parody which would have greatly lessened the impact of the message.

There. That's that question solved!

Unfortunately I couldn't find a photo of an angel carrying either an egg or a hen so perhaps that question isn't solved after all.


Maalie said...

Good to see you are active again. Have a good timne in Turkey.

lorenzothellama said...

It's a hen the angel was supposed to come with, not a turkey

simon said...

well, its morning here and I cannot think straight ( there is no coffee in the house)....
Have a top time in Turkey- nice to see you blogging!

tut-tut said...

Alice Thomas Ellis is one of MY favorite writers, too!

Kiwi Nomad said...

Turkey again? Happy sailing?

Halfmom said...

Happy Sailing - it's a wonderful story and, like Maalie, I'm glad to see you blogging again!!

Maalie said...

Yes, I reckon the egg came first. It's all to do with the common ancestor.

Shammickite said...

You're back!!! Hooray!
But obviously not for long, it appears that you're off to Turkey next. I'm still waiting for more pics of that darling little babby! (Yes I put the extra b in on purpose).
I've added that book to my "Books To Read" notebook, looks good.

Tortoiseshell said...

Excellent blog!

I'm missing Lexulous already...but I really do need to go cold turkey.

...or cold egg?

Sara said...

Whatto Lorenzo! It's been simply ages and it's so comforting to find that you're still creating posts of such indisputable and logic refuting genius!

ps. I'm not creating anything except washing up. x

Ted M. Gossard said...


Yes, good to see you're blogging again, Lorenzo!

Ted M. Gossard said...

It is interesting how God made this world and continues to make it through evolution. What a wonderful world it is, and the vehicle of evolution does not for a moment diminish the Creator's work. But in some ways makes it all the more fascinating. Life just seems to involve process with some spurts here and there.

Metamatician said...

Brilliant post. Made me think AND laugh, a rare (but recommended) occurrence.